'I'm actually extremely proud of her': 24-year-old mom teaches her 4-year-old about budgeting, let's her use her piggy bank money to go shopping, grandma throws a fit

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Dec 25, 2025 5:00 PM EST

Being a single mother is not easy and when this 24-year-old single mother saw the chance to teach her toddler about budgeting, she took it. As a young mother herself, budgeting is still vaguely a new concept for most. So, she decided to take baby steps, her daughter, after all, is only 4 years old. So she got her the classic little piggy bank and had her start earning some change. She told her she had to keep that money for something special, to not just spend it right away on whatever. She had to save it for as long as she can and then use the money for something she thoroughly thought about buying. 

 

This sounds like concepts that should fly right over the head of a toddler, but this little girl took her mom's words seriously. She saved her money for a long time and eventually had enough to go shopping. She wasn't just running around like the age old saying of "a kid in a candy store." Sure, she looked at things that she wanted but knew she didn't need. But she would stop herself from throwing them in the cart and would keep going. She had her eyes on the prize and made purchases that sound very wise for a 4-year-old. She got just a couple of toys for herself, and then got a book she could share with her mother and clothes that she actually needed. What kid does that?? Buys themselves clothes! We would most definitely say that this girl learned the exact lesson her mother was trying to teach her and her mother agreed. She was beaming with pride! Unfortunately, her mother, the toddler's grandmother, did not think the same… 

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  • family saving money in piggy bank
    via Unsplash+ (and Curated Lifestyle)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The grandmother looked at all the stuff her 4-year-old granddaughter bought with her own money and thought it was inappropriate that she did not use it to start a 401k or put away to save for a downpayment on a house… Grandma, respectfully, huh?? What?? This is a toddler, she has been alive for less fingers on one hand. When I was that age and released with $10 (that was a lot in the ‘90s…) I probably would have bought 10 pounds of bubble gum or a teddy bear the size of a Dalmatian. 

    I'm in my 30s now and still make purchases that feel less responsible than this little girl. Get a grip, grandma! Let this little girl enjoy being a little girl. She will have plenty of time to spend her hard earned cash on more boring things when she grows up. And she'll do it more responsibly than most of her friends, probably, because of this lesson she learned at 4 years old! 

  • "AITA for letting MY daughter use HER piggy bank money on whatever she wanted."

    1 (24F) started a piggy bank for my daughter (4yrs) this year. I wanted her to start grasping the concept of money and how to work with it, as well as saving up for something you really want.
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • From the beginning I told her that we would save up her money and that she could spend whatever she'd saved up for christmas on whatever she wanted.
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • Not only would it be something she could look forward to, but it's also a big help for me because her birthday is the day after Christmas and as a single mom, well it gets expensive, so this way she'd get a little extra toys or whatever for herself too.
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • She's done so well in saving up and restraining from using her money. Last night I decided that today would be the day that I would take her shopping and she could finally pick out whatever she wanted.
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • She picked out so much and I'm actually extremely proud of her because for 1. She made that money stretch so much further then I thought possible, 2.
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  • She showed restraint and didn't just throw a bunch of random toys into the cart, for example she bought herself 1 big toy, she chose by herself to buy a few items of clothing(something she needs), she bought herself a puzzle (something she needs to concentrate and focus on to do), a storybook, (something we can do together at bedtime as usual and help her learn to read), those are just a few things she got, but also she really thought hard about what to buy, there were so many things she wanted
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • But now here comes the problem. When we got home that afternoon after she'd finished all her shopping, she excitedly ran to my mom to show her everything shed bought.
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • My mom later on proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't have let her buy so much nonsense and that its a waste of money and that she should've just kept on saving her money until she was older, and that now she hasn't learnt anything from saving up or how money works.
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • She also proceeded to tell me that I'm completely ruining my daughter with love. By "spoiling" her with whatever she wants.
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • Which isn't the case, this is not an everyday thing where she gets to buy anything she wants, its a once in a blue moon thing and its with HER money.
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • Look yes saving is a good thing, but my daughter doesn't have to worry about the future just yet, shes 4!, and saving for her future is my responsibility right now.
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • The piggy bank was never supposed to be for me or my daughter to save for her future, that's completely separate, from the beginning I said her piggy bank money is for her to spend on whatever she decides to spend it on, and you know what, she completely deserves it.
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • But now my mom is making me feel like I made a horrible choice in letting her use her own money.
    via Vegetable_Repair1356
  • Little girl with pink bows and a backpack shopping in a store
    via Unsplash+ (and Josh Maddocks)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • dembowthennow Your daughter is four. She doesn't need to funnel her savings into a home or retirement fund yet - it's okay for her to be a kid and learn that saving up will allow her to buy the fun toys that she values. Your mom is being a killjoy. Ignore her.
    via dembowthennow
  • geekymommysenshi NTA. She saved up for shopping, stayed within budget and had a lot of time to think about what she would choose. You did great!
    via geekymommysenshi
  • Character_Goat_6147 I disagree with your mother. My parents never helped me learn to budget, and I had to learn the hard way as a young adult who was living off of a big sack of rice and another of beans for a few months between jobs. Learning how to save, but also to spend wisely, is a great skill. The amount of money spent probably won't make a long term difference. If you want, when you start again at the beginning of the year you can introduce the concept of saving for the future, and help h
    via Character_Goat_6147
  • Dear_Condition_1339 You should tell your mom to get her another piggy bank, then you both can teach her a four year old version of "checking and savings account". One she can use to be a kid and the other she can save until she is out of high school, or has an actual bank account. ...now that I think about it tell your mom to open a savings account for her and she can put her two (or dollars) cents in there and it can grow in interest. Yes it is both sarcastic and also genuinely a good idea if s
    via Dear_Condition_1339
  • Teal_lady NTA I think you did a fantastic job of teaching her the value of money as well as autonomy. She saved up with a goal in mind. The made her own decisions. On top of all that she was responsible with her decisions! You're doing great, don't listen to your mom.
    via Teal_lady
  • Bunster04 NTA you can teach her about long term saving when she is older. For now she had a special day with you and buy things with thought and care that's not something many 4yo get the opportunity to do.
    via Benster04
  • Purple-Pen-1218 Your mother is an absolute joke. Your daughter clearly learned she didn't need to buy a load of stuff she has loads of at home. How is that not learning. She chose very carefully what she wanted. Well done mum for being great and showing her. Also spoiled with love, what tosh, did your mother not hug you as a child or show you love, is she now deflecting. Carry on the great job.
    via Purple-Pen-1218
  • Even_Ad_3879 Your mum is being ridiculous. I have a daughter similar in age to yours and I do the same, she has her money box and when we know we are going to a shopping mall, she can choose to bring some money in her purse to spend. She will pick things and I explain to her how much they are and what she can get for her money. If she sees something later on but doesn't have enough then she has the decision of putting something back for the new thing or we take a photo of the new item and we rev
    via Even_Ad_3879
  • Ok-Listen-8519 Your mom is an AH, thats not her kid, she's 4yo and she already understood the exercise. NTA
    via Ok-Listen-8519
  • lujza_blaha You teach a 4yo the concept of money and maybe how to count it (whether in a playful way or actual counting, depending on the kid). You don't expect them to grasp the idea of an over a decade long financial goal. Your mom should probably turn down being demotivating a notch because, although she made sure to tell you her opinion afterwards, kids sense disapproval. I should know, I had two grandmothers like her. ETA: NTA.
    via lujza-blaha

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single mother saving money toddler entitled grandmother grandma motherhood family grandmother mom
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